I googled “drinking quotes” and came across quite a few humorous ones. I laughed to myself before realising that drinking to me is not quite so humorous. It used to be a light hearted drink on the one-off occasion or a binge at a party surrounded by friends. At the moment I am attempting to make it one day sober.
At the beginning of the year I had made a promise to myself that I would reduce my cutting by both its severity and frequency. And so I have. What I hadn’t expected was that my addiction to self-injury would be replaced by the booze. I’ve relied on it to dampen my feelings as well as to create them too. I have used it so that I can excuse my disproportionate anger, hysterical sobbing and bizarre behaviour with the simple words: “I was drunk”.
I have found it easier to come to terms with than my cutting. After all, I don’t have much “clean” skin left so I’ve figured that my liver can cope with a bashing. I wish I hadn’t started but damn it, it’s done.
“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald